Running Away From Myself

As I blindly grope for the release
I reach for the peace holder
Its blade tempts me to try
Its sharpness and sheen attracts my pain
To feel the exemption that the blade gives me
The pure pleasure of making my fears go away
Taking my mind off of life
The tip penetrates my skin
Scarlet blood seeps out of the wound
I lick my lips in ecstasy
I sigh as the blood runs down my arm and onto my bed
It’s gotten so bad, that I cannot even hide the scars
But I never could
I couldn’t hide the scars of the past
The emotional agony
The hurt and the pain inside
All bottled up, waiting for deliverance
I want to run away, to escape
To be like the bird and fly away
All my attempts have failed, but the blade has failed me not
I feel as though the world has turned against me
I want to break loose from this torture
But as I sit and smile at the cuts on my arms,
I realize that I haven’t been running away from the world,
I’ve been running away from me
But how can I escape myself?